Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
