we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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