It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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