It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize