The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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