i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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