I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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