I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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