I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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