I didn't shave. On purpose
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
