He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
well most of my day revolves around power hour
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
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