Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize