I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Randomize
