I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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