Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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