I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
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I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
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good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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