you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
