What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Randomize
