Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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