I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
