Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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