She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
