My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
