oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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