He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
