This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
