her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
