Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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