The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize