Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
