my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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