end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Randomize
