you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
