i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Randomize
