Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
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