she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
