my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
