Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
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U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
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I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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