i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize