I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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