You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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