so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
