note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
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