He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
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