that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Randomize
