based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize