how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
