so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
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