id be glad to
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
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