Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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