This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
