so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
the room spins SO much faster in panama
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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