Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
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I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
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To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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