just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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