i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
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he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
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Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
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