Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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