Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
