very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
