Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
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he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
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Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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