i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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