At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
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