dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Randomize
