hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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