dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
