I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
