Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
