i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
