Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Randomize
